I came from a humble beginning.

My knowledge is shallow.

My temperament is reckless.

I am insignificant.

A bit more..

Growing up I always heard the saying

"Victory comes only after further struggle."

And only now do I understand the true meaning of it.
Sometimes when you feel you have reached an impasse,
when you think there is no hope left,
if you struggle on a bit more,
and a bit more,
you'll see a glimmer of success.
I promise.

山楂树之恋

Burning

My whole life I have only ever read two of Murakami's work that is Norwegian Wood and The Elephant Vanishes. The first time reading Barn Burning (The Elephant Vanishes) I wouldn't have thought it would be possible to adapt the short story onto big screen, until "Burning" arrived and was so captivating that it paved its way to Oscar 2019's shortlist.

Based on Murakami's work, it came as no surprise that the story is tangled with puzzle of uncertain structures, hidden messages, and ambiguity. A kind of film where nothing happen, yet, there's a palpable menace brimming at the same time. It is best to not take every dialogue literally as they might represent clues to reveal the final mystery. I know how frustrating it is to read a review of something so vague, but even at its most abstract, i couldn't help myself to look away. There's soemthing about the way the details are constructed and how it eventually unfolds from little sparks into an all out flame, that makes the film explosive climax so, for lack of a better word, rewarding!!

Its mesmerizing script surely won't work without the magnetic performance from the three leads, although many other chacarters appear for single scenes, as if they appear for no reason other than to support the characters. Some also feel the stories the characters tell are far too blurry that it became unclear if they are real or just a figment of the imagination. Whatever that is with the 3 incredible leads (Yoo Ah-in doe eyes, tho!), poetic methapors (koreans..), and hypnotizing imagery, BURNING SUCCESSFULLY HOOKS ME IN AND REFUSES TO LET GO. . . . . I love it when a film gave me the aftermath feeling even after weeks of watching it. All in all with all the pluses and (next to nothing) minuses, what everyone can agree on is that it's a masterpiece and IT'S LIT!!!(pun very superly intended)

Oh! one more thing I THINK is important to apprehend about this film is that it wasn't trying to sell bombastic full-of-plot-twist story or never-ending suspense and tension. It was only trying to bring you to feel the loneliness, to understand especially how toxic and fragile male insecurities can be, and above all the jealousy the poor main lead feel towards a mysterious heartless rich guy who snatches every possible good thing from his life.

Go go see it! Although it is clear that this one is not for 'everyone' but I really hope you like it!

This rubbish world labels me the minute I leave home.

You know how hard it is to remove even one of those labels?

You had to be cowardly at least 1,000 times,

and get rid of your pride 10,000 times.

Still then, you're not even sure whether that will be enough or not.

But then again, the show must go on and nothing is ever promised.

You have to keep going, hold your head high

For the people you care about and most importantly for you.

The First Time

People who like each other end up meeting each other.
No matter how far apart they are, they return in the end.

Love is something that returns.

Whoever you are, please grow well, be healthy, and be happy.
We may have crossed paths somewhere at some point and still clueless of what we were missing,
but I'll meet you. Hopefully soon.

If, indeed, we have crossed paths, this is for our first time.
Wherever you are, hang in there, you'll do just fine :)


Until we meet again...

Don't Worry

My dear, don't worry about anything

Let's just sing together

My dear, all of your painful memories

Bury them deep in your heart

The past is in the past

That's how it is always going to be

Sing for those who left you

Say you loved them with no regrets

You suffered so many hardships

You lost what it meant to be free

Let out all the hardships you went through

Let yourself go from the blame

Just let the past be the past

It's meaningful in that way

Let's all sing together

Say you dreamed with no regrets

Say you'll dream new dreams.

Avoir la foi, to have faith

Every life is touched by God at least once.
Just as you're drifting away from the world,
if someone nudge you back in the right direction,
that would be the work of God.

BF

"All too often, when we see injustices,

both great and small, we think,

that's terrible,

but we do nothing.

We let other people fight their own battles.

We remain silent because silence is easier.

Qui tacet consentire videtur 

is Latin for 'Silence gives consent'.

When we say nothing,

when we do nothing,

we are consenting to these trespasses against us."

G(old)

Dear james gunn,

here is a list of my favorite power pop songs.

*it started out as power pop songs but then it continues as just whatever songs i love lol it's gonna be one neverending list :p

1. Electric Light Orchestra - Livin' Thing

2.The Alan Parsons Project - Don't Answer Me

3. Gilbert O'Sullivan ~ Alone Again Naturally

4. The Foundations - Build me up buttercup

5. Spandau Buller -True 

6. Bruce Springsteen - Hungry Heart

7. Weezer - No one else (acoustic)

8. Foo Fighters - Virginia Moon

9 Gilbert O`Sullivan - CLAIR

10 The Commodores - Easy

11 Camera Obscura - If Looks Could Kill

12 Queen - Lazy on a Sunday Afternoon

13 Mild High Club - Homage

14. Nick Drake - Northern Sky

15. Billy Crystal & John Goodman - If I Didn't Have You

16 Glen Campbell - I'm Not Gonna Miss You

17 Arcade Fire - Everything Now

18. Pink Floyd - Wots... Uh The Deal

19. George Michael - Kissing a Fool

20. Coldplay - World Turned Upside Down

21 Richard Sanderson - Reality

22 Queen - My Melancholy Blues 

23 Naif - Nyali

24 Butch Walker - Synthesizer

25 The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

26 The Flaming Lips - Do You Realize

27 Foo Fighters - Walking After You

28 Naif - Di Mana Aku Di Sini

29. Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes of a Brokenhearted

30. Maxime Nightingale - Right Back to Where We Started From

31. Elvis Bishop - Fooled Around And Fell In Love 

32. Curtis Lee - Pretty Little Angel Eyes 

33

34

35

36

37

38

39

40

I've missed you my hero.

Wait.. What?!?

"I'll be driving a green motorbike."

A few seconds later, a green motorbike pulled over. I heard the driver mention a name that sounds like mine, so i hopped on.

"You don't need a helmet?" he asked.

"Don't be crazy," I said, because what kind of law-abiding passenger would travel from Salemba to Kelapa Gading without a helmet.

We began the trip, and as we turn the corner the driver said,

"So we're going to Grand Indonesia, right?"

"What do you mean Grand Indonesia? We're going to MKG!"

Further along the road, I glimpsed over his shoulder at Google Maps on his phone, and it dawned on me that there must be something wrong with the GPS because the route wasn't heading anywhere near MKG.

So after we made a turn in the direction of Grand Indonesia, I told him to pull over.

"What's your  name?" I asked.

"Afi," he said.

And then I finally realised that he wasn't saying my name erroneously when he picked me up. My driver's name was supposed to be Boni. This was not Boni.

"So can you take me back to where you picked me up?" I said, while trying not to die from embarrasment.

END OF STORY.

Contenment In Simplicity

Menghabiskan cukup lama waktu untuk memilih kata-kata yang tepat menceritakan apa yang terjadi dan apa yang bisa dipelajari hari ini, tapi nggak bisa juga. The point is, I just found contenment in simplicity.

SCeLE

Hari ini bisa dibilang salah satu hari yang melelahkan banget sepanjang kehidupan per-FKG-an. Ya nggak banget-banget sih kalau dibandingkan dengan track record kehidupan FKG di masa lampau *No! No! Don't  make me write about those awful years! Had enough today!* 

Hari ini hari pertama Skills Lab IKGMP. Sesuai namanya, Ilmu Kesehatan Gigi Masyarakat dan Kedokteran Gigi Pencegahan mengajarkan tentang ilmu-ilmu dasar dan terapan yang dipakai untuk (salah satunya) meningkatkan derajat kesehatan gigi masyarakat. Intinya di kelas kita duduk berdasarkan kelompok PBL. Nanti dosen akan kasih kita pre-test, soal skills lab, dan lain-lain semua dari SCeLE (hhh.. ketemu lagi sama makhluk ini..). SCeLE itu adalah sistem berbasis web yang gunanya memfasilitasi (and therefore) menunjang kegiatan belajar mengajar di UI. Yaa.. kuliah berjalan sebagaimana yang sudah diprediksi dan akhirnya pukul 12.00 kelas ditutup.

Jadi untuk dapat mengerti permasalahan hari ini, perlu diketahui bahwa.. dosen akan selalu kasih tugas Role Play yang harus diupload ke SCeLE dalam bentuk video MAKSIMAL pukul 16.00. Sekilas belum ada kepanikan.. hidup masih damai. Terus setelah keluar kelas, gw caca mela dan diana memutuskan untuk buat video secepatnya (alasan: lapar akut dan harus ke salemba ppfftthh). Kira-kira jam 13.00 kami semua udah selesai bikin videonya. Masing-masing dari kami harus upload individually ke SCeLE tercinta. Awalnya waktu makan di kantin sama Mela, gw udah mencoba upload pake HP dan SSO tersayang. Tapi ada kali ya satu jam nggak ke-upload juga padahal baterai HP udah tinggal 5%. Seperti baterainya, kepanikan penulis juga masih 5% (sok detected). Akhirnya sampai di stasiun kalibata kepanikan mulai 15% akibat HP mati total dan nggak bisa order GOJEK. Ditambah lagi jam tangan baterainya habis dan nggak tau sama sekali jam berapa saat itu sehingga kepanikan bertambag menjadi 20%. Alhasil, gw mulai melangkahkan kaki keluar stasiun dan naik ke Kopaja 57 cinta pertamaku setelah masuk UI. Untung banget jalanan bersahabat jadi gak terlalu macet (penulis memberikan kebebasan penuh untuk interpretasi statement "gak terlalu macet" yang ditulis oleh penulis). Turun di mustika langsung lanjut naik ojek sampai rumah. 

Ternyata di rumah udah menunjukkan pukul 15.15 (kepanikan naik menjadi 27%). Cerita di atas hanyalah pendahuluan dari isi skripsi yang sebenarnya. Kisahnya adalah begini. Gw langsung buru-buru charge HP gw pake charger gw yang super moody itu tapi dia sedang baik dan bersahabat banget langsung mau men-charge hape-ku. Sembari nunggu tuh HP nyala, gw lanjut  nyalain Laptop buat buka SCeLE untuk liat overdue timenya. Ternyata masih 40 menit. Anehnya di sini kepanikan masih 40% bahkan masih terngiang-ngiang lagu You Can't Hurry Love yang sempet-sempetnya masih gw nyanyikan di dalam hati waktu buka SCeLE tadi. Tiba-tiba liat jam 15.25 kepanikan langsung melesat ke 55% karena nggak melihat prognosis baik dalam upload via per-mobile phone-an. Sialnya, charger moody gw ini adalah charger palsu yang unrecognizable kalau dicolok ke Laptop. Jadi solusi untuk mindahin video dari HP ke Laptop pake kabel data tereliminasi sudah. Satu-satunya charger yang masih asli itu punya Papa dan Papa belum akan menginjakkan kaki di rumah sampai pukul 16.30 nanti. Kepanikan 60%. Muter otak (as if i have one! *nyadar) untuk cari solusi lain. Akhirnya kepikiran untuk send video ke LINE Keep. Setelah  mencoba, dua detik kemudian sadar kalau itu nggak efektif. Akhirnya muter otak lagi dan berpikir untuk send video ke WhatsApp mama dan dari HP mama menggunakan kabel data mama dikirim ke laptop gw. Tapi nihil, via WhatsApp nggak bisa full. Kepanikan 75%. Oh iya pada kejadian ini waktu udah menunjukkan 15.35. Akhirnya coba kirim ke LINE orang dan via LINE di Laptop nanti didownload. Itu gw lakukan aja [SPOILER ALERT] superly clueless that it'll soon be the key to my happy ending.

Hasil puter otak nihil dan semua gak memberikan harapan. Waktu menunjukkan pukul 15.50 kepanikan tentunya 100%.  Oh ya, lupa satu detail penting ini. Jadi, gw cuma bisa submit sebelum 16.00. Setelah 16.00 tombol add submission udah gone gone gone. Itu lah kenapa gw super panik. Kalau telat tapi masih bisa submit gw gak akan sepanik ini (mungkin...). 

15.55 gw memutuskan untuk chat dokter Rani dan bilang kalau gw udah berusaha dan berjam-jam nggak bisa upload. Tanpa ada balasan tiba-tiba waktu di SCeLE diperpanjang 15 menit. Honestly, that doesn't make even the slightest difference (for me). Upload dari HP tak kunjung selesai dan sudah lewat. Holding onto the last bit of hope I had in mind, akhirnya gw chat dokter Rani lagi dan meminta tolong untuk memberikan gw kesempatan upload dengan cara lain. Gw udah mau nangis aja tapi untuk aja pertarungan batin ini dimenangkan oleh the free spirit in me (*sobbed*). Gw ketawa-ketawa aja sambil chat Jacky dan Livia. Yaudahlah.. these things happen in life.. we just gotta live with it.. to be sad or not to be sad is solely depend on how we embrace them. Pada saat gw berserah itu tiba -tiba Jacky chat "WOY DIPERPANJANG LAGI CEPET CHECK DAN UPLOAD!!". Kaget riang gembira gw langsung turun ke bawah (dengan maksud biar deket modem jadi lebih cepet entah bener apa kagak yang penting apa??? sugesti...). Ehhh di perjalanan turun tangga Laptop tiba-tiba mati. Aduh apalagi sik ini? Cepet-cepet nyalain lagi refresh-refresh segala macam akhirnya (Setelah 15 menit) nyala lagi seperti semula dan sehat sejahtera. Saat itu pukul 16.53. Buru-buru buka SCeLE dan upload. Kok bisa upload dari Laptop? Soalnya tadi di kirim via LINE!!! Terimakasih Tuhan atas kecerdasaan yang tidak disengaja itu. Dari 300mb, filenya dikompres LINE jadi 100an mb. Setelah jalan uploadnya mulai seneng-seneng. Papa nyampe rumah dan masih sempet bukain pager. Papa masuk dan langsung curhat sama Papa semuanya. Dia langsung kelihatan kasihan dan akhirnya mencoba bantu. 

Setelah menunggu 15 menit... tuh hijau-hijau gak jalan-jalan juga. Mulai dong rasa panik memeluk dari kaki sampai kepala. Udah mau nangis lagi. Kenapa sih SCeLE??? Kemungkinan banget sih karena orang-orang yang juga nggak sempet upload pada upload juga jadi mungkin jammed atau entahlah kenapa. Hopeless banget. Kemudian Papa dengan cerdasnya nyuruh upload ke YouTube aja (Oh ya, lupa bilang, option upload ke youtube juga ada dan nanti URL nya diupload ke SCeLE dalam bentuk .doc). Awalnya gw udah ragu sama opsi ini karena upload ke youtube itu nggak lebih cepat juga dari SCeLE ini. Ternyata oh ternyata YouTube yang super malaikat penyelamat kehidupan jiwa dan raga dengan baik hatinya memberikan URL video ini in advance bahkan sebelum video terupload. Itu udah jam 17.45 langsung dong buru-buru copas URL nya ke ms.word dan upload ke SCeLE. Bodo amat dah kapan tuh upload youtube nya selesai. Tapi gak disangka upload youtubenya juga selesai sebelum jam 18.00 yaitu 17.58 tegang juga ya sist tapi. 

Dan... begitulah kisah hari ini. SCeLE.. really looking forward to creating a MUCH better but LESS intense memories with you ahead!!!

AARGH udah 20.45 belum selesai DK 2! Bye!!! See u! A Bientot!

One Post A Day

Hi everyone! (should you guys ever exist)
I am going to start this entry with one famous quote by (presumably) John C. Maxwell:

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

Maybe some of you have also seen this quotation somewhere. For me, i was never able to answer the question every single time I read it... until now... hence this entry. One post a day (at least :p). This is what I'm going to do and this is the first time for me that I actually deliberately in all conscience decided to establish a regular writing practice *LOL*. I'm not really a book person. Yea I know.. this might probably be the most idiotic thing you've ever heard (read) someone saying (writing). But that's the truth.. I'm more of a movie person. I have difficulties in reading I don't know why I just can't do quick reading like my book-lover friends can easily do, which eventually makes me sick of it because I was always a week, two weeks, even a month behind! I also have had enough of people saying "Hah? Lu baru sampe situ? Kok lama banget bacanya." -_-. Anyhow you probably don't see any correlation or causation between reading and writing but for me I do :p. I made myself a jump to a conclusion that people who read more tend to write more (and better..). That being said, I think I deserve a pat on the back for this resolution I just made here. I'll be posting whatever I want here and I hope this can do good for me and the people who read it (...or maybe not... because posts are subject to multiple grammatical errors and super-limited poor quality vocabulary)

Anyhow! Thank you! À bientôt!

It's not that I don't believe that everything happens for a reason... It's just, for me, some things are meant to be broken. It is just the way the universe makes a contrast. There's gonna be holes on the road. And that's pretty much what life is, isn't it?
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Taken 2!

Let's talk about Taken 2!

I've watched the first movie, and i loved it! So, when i first heard that they were about to make the sequel, i jumped off my chair right away. And i finally got the chance to watch Taken 2 today, Oct 05th. I probably expected too much but it turned out i only got the three forth of what i expected. Or maybe just the half of it. It's probably because the movie wasn't meant to have a sequel. I kinda think that the movie was only meant to squeeze the pockets of the people who liked the first one. But if you admire Liam Neeson, this sure must be listed on your watchlist. Well dont think that it is as bad as i make it sound. It's still worth watching it! :D

...

Same world but different

When you talk to a poet, there is no lies.
However illogical, they're not telling lies,
they're just being poetic.
The world exists objectively,
but every person's experience of the world is different.
And if you use a poet's eyes to look at the world,
you see a different world.
Obscure but very much beautiful.